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Whad'Ya Know? For January 9, 2010

Listen in to the entire two-hour broadcast. Or review the show rundown below and select your favorite segment of the show. Note that Parts A & B refer to the first hour and Parts C & D refer to the second hour. Part A Part B Part C Part D Problem listening to Real Audio? Get Help!

Hour 1

:00 - A live broadcast from Monona Terrace in Madison

:01 - Wisconsin Puts the WI in Winter.

:05 - All The News That Isn't
-The perfect winter break -- so cold the iguanas are falling out of the trees in Florida, while guys are setting their pants on fire on the flight home. May just have been trying to stay warm.
-Responding to the attempted airliner downing, Republicans call for an invasion of Iraq.
-Ironically, they had info on the Undies Bomber, but it was mistakenly forwarded to the National Pro-Terrorism Center. Ended up on the desk of the Director of Homeland Insecurity.
-And just as the president was three-under on the 17th at Ko’olau. Playing more golf than Tiger.
-President Obama gets the terror briefing even before he gets the wife’s vacation briefing.
-Mr. Obama's first response to Secretary Napolitano, "you're doing a heckuva job, Nappy," probably a mistake.
-The Nigerian suspect had apparently found a way to combine miniature pretzels and 3 ounces of diet coke to make an explosive device.
-So much for any lingering vestige of food service. Good thing you won't have to get up to pee, since it's now a terrorist act.
-TSA will now peek inside your undies and hold up a card numbered between 1 and 10. Terror risk ratings, I guess. Otherwise, pretty much flying as usual.
-The bulge in Umar Farouk Abdul Mutallab's pants set off no red flags due to reverse profiling.
-Umar is a shoe-in for Al Qaeda's Richard Reid Non-Achievement Award, the Reidy's. Little bronze sneakers.
-Homeland Security will put a flying Dutchman on ever flight to the US.
-Huge setback for fliers who have been concealing family sized tubes of Crest in their briefs.
-With the new rules, you can only take one quart sized baggie with as many three ounce explosive liquids as you can cram inside. Syringes must be clamped in the teeth during check-in.
-The good news for airport security: at least the dogs won't have to be trained to smell crotches.
-As we all hope to be put on the NO-FLY PLEEEZE list.
In other news that isn't.......
-House and Senate health care bill reconciliation worse than that of Jon & Kate plus eight. More acrimonious than Tiger and Elin.
-President Obama's next initiative: health club memberships for all Americans!
-New terror threat on iPhones -- there's an app for it.
-At the Consumer Electronics Show, an iPhone killer app stalks Microsoft and Android hardware.
-Google introduces the rather badly named Shmexus One, and the gSpot for women.
-Microsoft reveals a badly behind the times slate carved out of actual slate. Moses tablet draws little attention as attendees worship golden 3D avatar.
-3D TV, where the shammy wows come right out at ya, and the singing mop gets right in your face.
-And the much awaited offering from Apple, the iNewton!
-Compromise on the State of the Union -- President Obama will appear on the Lost premiere as Mr. Eko, the Nigerian Catholic priest-reformed criminal.
-The Hubble takes the oldest picture yet of the universe, just as the dice are hitting the felt.
-Brit Hume might be able to hit a one wood if he went Buddhist. But probably not.
-Tiger Woods so deep in seclusion, they're calling him Tiger bin Laden. Could be in the tribal homelands in Pakistan.
-GOP chairman says with racial attitudes like Harry Reid's, he should change parties. Harry Reid is a light-skinned Caucasian with no discernable Mormon dialect, except when he wants to.
-Jay Leno to go infomercial, Conan to Ice Capades.
-Mariah Carey says she's not drunk just stupid.
-Dubai open world's tallest vacancy. Two billion square feet -- will configure to you needs
-And, on American Idol, Ellen told one funny dance, and she's out.......
That's All the News That Isn't...........

:09 - Guest interview with Chuck Klosterman author of Eating the Dinosaur. Chuck is great -- he says so, but his voice isn't convincing. Michael finds a great divide between himself and the awesome generation. Chuck is awesome.

:28 - John and Jeff jazz this hour.

:44 - Michael makes a quick step out into the audience for a chat then finds Casey to read The Four Disclaimers.

:48 - Whad'Ya Know? Quiz with Lew and Pat (who just took 4 kids to the store to buy a birthday gift and he's now hiding in the bathroom).

Hour 2

:00 - Live from Monona Terrace with the man with no answer for his daughters' perennial question, "why do we live here?"

:04 - Thanks for the Memos. First, Michael received this Christmas Card Tweet. Then this actual memo: Medical Surgical Staff Comments from Evaluations: complete more VIP cards and too much gossip. Oh and clean up after yourself.

:08 - Call-In Hotline: Name the Decade. What to call those years from 2000-2009? Greg thinks The Little Bird Decade. Lynn thinks this should be The Dime Decade, starting in 2010. Helen thinks The Down The Tubes Decade.

:26 - John and Jeff play The Last Time I Saw Paris.

:31 - Michael meets Mr. Brown who is wearing a Packers shirt but doesn't play on the team. How about a t-shirt and some vinegar for this audience member. How much are your pupils expanding?

:41 - Whad'Ya Know? Quiz. It's a tradition for Mary and her friends to come to the show. It's been 20 years, could she play the Quiz! Kurt is going to play along, taking a break from cardiac surgery.

:59 - Next week we'll try again Winchester, VA!