When I proritize, everything comes out on the bottom. I have may of the attitudes most often associated iwth great wealth. Unforutnately, I don't have the money. Noblesse without the oblige. I can't get excited about making a modest income, or even amassing a tidy sum. Someone's sum is always tidier. Sure, I could make something of myself, but the fact is, every time I meet a self-made man, I walk away thinking somebody else could have done a better job.

I've even cut way back on reflex actions. After examining me, doctors pound themselves with their mallets. It goes way back to birth, when they resorted to luring me out with Hershey bars. Mother was pushing, I was pulling. After all, how often do you find a place with all the amenities included? Finally, it was the tong wars. To this day I have a fear of icemen.

All of this means that I'm physically incapable of being any other than self-employed -- and even so, suffer from a high rate of absenteeism I've been meaning to speak to myself about.