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Babycakes
We can't agree on a name for the baby. Not even the last one. I say
the first one gets my last name, she says the only one gets her
family name, one of the more amusing puns made at Ellis Island. (I
won't reveal the family name unless it's true about the bounty.)
It's the reason Consuela has always gone by only the one name, like
Charo and Napoleon.
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Feldman, on the other hand, has stood the test of time. My father was
a Feldman, and his father before him, although I think that's where
it may have begun. Before that we seem to have just been filed under
"Jews, miscellaneous." Once we had a genealogist look into it, but
it turns out most Eastern European municipalities registered their
dogs with more care, and apparently none of the early Feldmans was
willing to fetch.
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We probably had a long and illustrious history. Since the Jews and
Columbus left Spain at the same time (they heard he was going to
Miami, and it was getting to be October), it's quite possible there
may have been a Feldman aboard the Nina or the Pinta (less likely on
the Santa Maria) unless Columbus did his own payroll. And Benjamin
sounds Jewish -- who's the say he didn't change it to "Franklin"?
Even the Bible is of little help, since it tells that Terah begat
Abram, Nahor and Haran, but not that Feldstein begat Finestein and
Feldman, if that's how it worked. Some hold with spontaneous
generation, but I don't think God would play dice with the Feldmans.
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Anyway, the recent history has been solid, producing a rainbow of
professionals from the tax islands to the islets of Langerhans, all
ready to be bestowed on babycakes, once we get her first name out of
the way. Consuela favors "Estelle" while I'd like something more
contemporary, like "Arsenia." She considers the "a" to be too
diminutive, even though she has that ending herself and it certainly
isn't as small as it used to be. So I guess Pftatateeta is out,
despite its Third World redolence (usually a lock on Consuela's
imagination).
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Looking for roots, I pored over a list of Hebrew names, but they all
seem to put a lot on the line: "Hannah," "graceful" -- well, we'll
see (odds are against, unless it skips generations); "Rebecca,"
"captivating beauty" -- which nobody told the Rebeccas I went to
school with; "Sarah," "princess" -- redundant; "Bat Sheva," "daughter
of an oath" -- on the money, but legal-sounding and too close to
"daughter of an oaf" anyway; or "Dikla," "date palm" -- never, not on
your frond.
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"Molly" is versatile because, like "Michael," it can pass for Irish.
It was high on Consuela's list, but I have an aunt Molly and I don't
want to confuse my mother any further. There are already three
"roses" creating a bramble in the family thicket, plus she thinks the
Pekinese of one of them (My brother Arthur's Rose) is her own baby
son "David," my father's name and also that of most of the males of
the current generation.
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Today I go to the library for a list of nonsense syllables. And a
Croatian dictionary, just to be safe.
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© Copyright 1991-1999 by Michael Feldman
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