Michael Feldman's -- All The News That Isn't

Read on for this week's monologue, or check out this year's archive.

Listen in to the monologue from the October 24, 1998 show.

October 24, 1998

After weeks of struggle in rural Maryland , a middle east peace agreement is reached, but war breaks out between Maryland and Virginia.

Removing a major stumbling block, the Palestinians removed the 26 clauses in their charter calling for the destruction of Israel, replacing them with one clause and 25 "dittoes."

Pinochet is nabbed, but Thatcher beats it out the back door swinging her handbag.

In the Government action against Microsoft, Ken Starr is given his toughest challenge -- Bill Gates' sex life. So far all he's got is tying, bundling, and predatory practices. Close, but no virtual cigar.

If the Department of Justice succeeds with Microsoft, they will reportedly go on to break up Oprah Winfrey.

In a compromise, the tobacco companies say they are willing to concede targeting black Americans for menthol cigarettes if they will admit the malt liquor was all their own idea.

The Pentagon warns enlisted men about disparaging the president -- some army officers have been critical, but seamen like him.

And, in sports, the Padres play like Madres.

That's All the News That Isn't . . .

© 1998 Michael Feldman