Michael Feldman's -- All The News That Isn't

Listen in to the monologue from the June 20, 1998 show.

June 20, 1998

You read where a woman gave birth over the Internet? Unfortunately, they can't find the file the baby was downloaded to.

Senator Trent Lott compares gays to kleptomaniacs, offers to frisk them.

In the tobacco field, Senate Republicans blow smoke, burn holes in the fabric of the opposition and grind their butts under their heels. So kids, smoke 'em if you got 'em.

New NRA president Charlton Heston says "Let my people shoot!"

The American Jewish Conference calls upon Jewish women to submit their credit receipts graciously.

While scientists come up with a morning after Viagra pill--Oy-vay-gra.

Sixteen people have died so far as the result of Viagra--all wives.

A New York businessman has donated a million dollars so the underprivileged can obtain Viagra and have one last chance to sleep their way to the top.

World Cup Riot fans break for soccer.

Louisiana to execute a guy named Dobie Gillis Williams--hasn't he suffered enough?

The Vermont school where the 18-year-old young woman who disrobed during her graduation speech says she was not typical of the student body.

And, in Eau Claire, Wisconsin, 28 people who got sick eating cheese curds apparently forgot to take the necessary precaution of washing them down with Old Style. Speculation is they were not from around here and their bodies had not yet adapted to the cuisine.

From the land where diarrhea and abdominal cramps usually go unreported, That's all the news that isn't.