Michael Feldman's -- All The News That Isn't

Listen in to the monologue from the March 28, 1998 show.

March 28, 1998

The President went to Africa hoping to get away from this sex scandal, but leaving a trail of babies named Bill Clinton may not be the answer.

Ken Starr is now suiting up in his safari duds and pith helmet.

Mr. Clinton has gotten a tremendous reception in Africa where traditionally, chiefs have had a lot more latitude on this woman thing. Talk about executive privilege.

But, every one is a queen, that's the difference. Hillary, Gennifer, Monica, Kathleen and Paula would make for quite a fun nuptial hut. As long as you didn't have to walk into it.

Beautiful robes the President got in Uganda--just the thing for lounging around the Excelsior Hotel in Little Rock.

Stateside, Kenneth Starr has seized Monica Lewinksy's bookstore receipts. Turns out she bought a novel called "Vox" that's about phone sex. If it turns out she rented "The Full Monty" it's all over.

She could have bought anything in a bookstore and it would have looked bad, like "Ten Stupid Things Men Do To Mess Up Their Lives," "Winnie the Pooh" they would have thought was significant.

Speaking of books, the Germans buy Random House. It is now Raus Mit Du! House.

The President's lawyers argue for a broad interpretation of executive privilege. Kenneth Starr offers a Players Club Card and discount coupon book.

Boris Yeltsin does the Russian take on executive privilege -- he fires everybody. But it shows how far the Russians have come -- he fired them, he didn't fire upon them.

Inspectors and diplomats will go into the presidential palaces in Iraq now that the eunuchs have had a chance to tidy up.

And Green Bay Packer Reggie White gets a job at CBS doing play-by-play stereotypes.

And that's All the News That Isn't . . .