Michael Feldman's--All The News That Isn't

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Listen in to the monologue from the July 29, 2000 show.

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July 29, 2000

Ford says it will increase the mileage on its SUV's by shrinking them, ditching the big wheels and pulling out the four wheel drive--Voila! The Fiesta!

The Mideast peace talks end with Arabs and Jews agreeing on only one thing: falafel.

Poor Bill. His only legacy will be windows in the formerly windowless hallway off the oval office. You can bet Laura Bush will be taking the Stanley Steamer to those carpets.

Two oil men nominated by the Republicans this week promise a high- octane campaign with no ping when passing and special additives to reduce fouling and blow-by.

Dick Cheney headed the search committee that came up with Dick Cheney. Looks like conflict of interest will not be a problem for this administration. A headhunter showing up with his own head.

Al Gore, taking a cue from Cheney, has decided to take the number two spot himself and simply drive from the back seat. The Democrats are still searching for a campaign theme other than "It's the economy, stupid Jr."

The GOP platform written by Governor Tommy Thompson of Wisconsin is somewhat more moderate despite the misspellings and problems with syntax: "traditional value and the scarcity of human life," "the right to bare arms," the pledge to "reduce nocturnal emissions," and to "make American the national language." Well, it was written on a Harley.

NASA will send two probes to Mars to determine the likelihood of the continued existence of NASA. If they find water, they simply have to bring flour to make paste, one of the building blocks of pre-school life.

The court shuts down the Napster music site on the web. Users will have to revert to the low-tech alternative, "Shoplifter." Still, it's been amusing hearing Metallica protecting its intellectual property.

They're spraying in Manhattan against the Nile virus mosquito: "Insects and the City." They're looking for a mosquito with Sarah Jessica Parker's head -- "Help me! Help me!"

And Kathie Lee leaves Regis to run the sweat shop full-time and keep an eye on Frank Gifford.

That's all the news that isn't...

Each week more than 1.3 million listeners tune in to Michael Feldman's Whad'Ya Know? broadcast live and almost live on more than 300 public radio stations across the United States. Michael Feldman's Whad'Ya Know? is produced by Wisconsin Public Radio and distributed by PRI- Public Radio International.

© 2000 Michael Feldman